If your girlfriend is not putting effort into the relationship and you don’t do anything about it, it will turn into a one-sided relationship. I am not sure if you can handle this kind of relationship!
You need to find a way to make your girlfriend put effort into the relationship if you want it to have a chance of surviving.
What you need to know is that you can’t force her to put effort into the relationship if she doesn’t feel like it.
Before I go deeper into this article and start sharing with you what to do when your girlfriend is not putting effort into the relationship, you need to know why she doesn’t put in the effort.
What does it mean when your girlfriend stops putting effort into the relationship?
When your girlfriend stops putting effort into the relationship it means she is losing interest in you, there’s unresolved conflict, she is bored by the relationship and she is thinking of ending it.
She stopped putting effort into the relationship because the way she feels about you is no longer the same.
When you started dating she was always making plans, asking you out on dates, she kept coming over even when you were busy but now that is no longer the same thing.
One thing you can conclude about her is that she doesn’t feel the same way she used to feel about you.
The interest that she had in you is what pushed her to do all those things.
It’s fading slowly and that is why she doesn’t why she no longer puts effort to ensure the relationship stands still.
She no longer cares about you the way she did and that is why this is happening.
The moment your girlfriend is no longer trying to move the relationship to the next level but you are always trying but she isn’t bothered, this should tell you something is off.
A woman who is still in love with you will not just stop putting effort into the relationship.
She won’t just stop giving you her time and attention without any reason.
If she stopped putting effort into the relationship it’s also possible that your relationship with her has a fault.
You have unresolved issues and that is why your girlfriend doesn’t even want to get closer to you.
The negative tension between the two of you is what makes her distance herself from you.
Unless things are settled, she will never put any effort into the relationship.
What can you do when your girlfriend stops putting effort into the relationship?
Should you just accept that she no longer wants you and stop trying too?
If she stopped putting in the effort, should you break up with her?
Don’t worry, you are going to learn what you can do about this as you continue reading this article.
What do to when your girlfriend is not putting effort into the relationship;
1. Find out why your girlfriend is not putting effort into the relationship.
If your girlfriend is not putting effort into the relationship the first thing you should do is to find out why that is the case.
Don’t just get mad and think of ending the relationship simply because she stopped trying.
First, you need to understand why she doesn’t handle you the way she used to.
I believe when you started dating she did everything she could to make you happy.
She brought oranges to the table while you brought bananas. The effort you both put into the relationship transformed it to where it is today.
If she stops putting effort into the relationship, something is wrong.
It can be that it has something to do with you or she is dealing with other issues that you don’t know about.
If you want to make your girlfriend put effort into the relationship you have to know why she stopped in the first place.
How can you find out why she stopped putting effort into the relationship?
The first thing you can do to find out why she stopped putting effort into the relationship is to observe how you treat each other.
I mean, how is your relationship?
Is your relationship the way it used to be?
Are you truly happy together?
If your relationship is not on good terms, don’t ask yourself so many questions about why she isn’t even trying to work things out.
She stopped putting effort into the relationship because it’s a mess and there is nothing you are all doing about it.
On the other hand, if your relationship is great; there are no conflicts between the two of you and you have never done anything to make her stop trying, you need to talk to her.
You won’t find out why she stopped putting effort into the relationship without talking to her.
Find time and sit down with her to find out what is wrong.
This is the only way you will manage to know why she stopped putting in the effort.
If she still loves you and she is ready to work on the relationship she will be willing to sit down with you and share with you what is bothering her.
She won’t avoid this conversation because she also wants to fix the situation of your relationship.
Read also; 6 Reasons Why She Avoids Serious Conversations With You
But if she stopped putting effort simply because she is no longer in love with you, she found another guy and she is now thinking of slowly ending the relationship, she won’t bother talking to you about anything.
2. Work out any issues between the two of you.
If you know for sure why your girlfriend stopped putting effort into the relationship, it’s time for you to start working out the problem.
Don’t expect your girlfriend to put effort into the relationship if things between the two of you are a mess.
She won’t sit down and talk to you about anything if you still have unresolved issues.
You need to fix issues with her first and take things back to normal if you want her to start putting in the effort.
If you know that you are the reason why she stopped putting effort into the relationship because of something you did, you need to find a way to apologize to her.
Swallow your pride and let her know that you are sorry for what you did and that you are ready to work things out.
Don’t be defensive or try to find a shortcut to end the conflict.
Maturely, handle the conflict and listen to what she has to say after you have apologized to her.
When she knows that you are truly sorry for what you did and you regret doing those things she will be willing to give the relationship another shot.
You just have to know how to express yourself.
Setting things right between the two of you is the first step in making your girlfriend start putting effort into this relationship.
3. Ask her how she feels about you and the relationship at large.
Maybe there is no conflict between the two of you, she just stopped putting in effort.
You have been struggling and trying to show her that you still want the relationship to work but she went cold.
She is no longer nice to you, she doesn’t want to come over to your place, she doesn’t want to see you and she no longer calls or texts you.
Read also;
- 7 Reasons Why She Doesn’t Want To Come Over (+What To Do)
- She Never Calls I Always Call Her: Here’s Why
- My Girlfriend Keeps Making Excuses Not To See Me: Why?
You have no idea why she stopped putting in the effort.
The only thing you can do is to ask her what she feels about the relationship and you.
Ask her if she still loves you.
Go even deeper with the questions and ask where she is hoping to take the relationship 2 years from now.
These kinds of questions are just meant to make her open up to you about how she feels right now about you and the relationship.
The response she will give you when you want to know how she feels about you will give you an idea of why she stopped putting in effort.
When you know how she feels about you, you will know what you should start working on.
If her feelings for you changed because another guy came along while you were busy chasing your dreams, you will know it.
After you have asked her how she feels about you and the relationship, you have to do the next thing that I’m about to share with you.
4. Be honest with her about the status of your relationship.
Your girlfriend stopped putting effort into the relationship, you have been trying to keep the relationship going but it feels like you are forcing her to be with you.
What you feel right now is just beyond what she can bear and understand.
The pain and stress you are going through because of the relationship doesn’t give you the peace of mind.
You have to be honest with her about how you feel.
If the relationship is sinking into the ocean don’t keep silent about it. Let her know that it’s sinking.
Don’t be silent when you are exhausted and drained from keeping the relationship alive.
The frustration and anger you have right now about what she does, let it all out.
Be honest about where the relationship is heading right now.
Do you think if she keeps up with what she does the relationship will last another year?
Say it all and wait and wait to hear from her.
Don’t keep this to yourself it can be that she doesn’t know that she is no longer putting effort into the relationship.
Maybe she thinks she is just doing great.
When she knows how you feel about how she handles you and the relationship at large, she will either do the right thing or give you the reality of why she stopped putting in the effort.
5. Rekindle the spark of love and romance.
This is another thing you can do to make your girlfriend put effort into the relationship.
She stopped putting effort into the relationship because she no longer feels the same about you.
The relationship is no longer exciting at all, she is bored and she is not even motivated to keep it going.
You have been distant, you also stopped putting effort, and she decided to do the same.
There is no reason for her to keep the relationship going at all.
She doesn’t even see what she is fighting for by keeping the relationship alive.
You need to rekindle the spark of love and romance if you want her to start putting effort into the relationship again.
Spice things up if you want to get her to pay attention to you and give you what you want.
Change the way you handle her, take her out on a vacation, spend more time with her, shower together, and even be her chef.
Be the guy she fell in love with and show her that she is your priority.
Take away all the distractions and focus on her.
Netflix and chill, get her high, and make her feel like a woman.
All these things I’m sharing won’t be possible if you don’t have time for her.
If you will manage to spike her interest in you again, she will start putting in the effort.
You will notice that she is also trying to take things the way they were.
That is if she stopped putting in effort because your connection was gradually fading.
The spark wasn’t intense like the way it used to be.
6. Remind her of your goals and the responsibilities she has in that relationship.
This is another thing you can do if your girlfriend stops putting effort into the relationship.
It can be that she forgot everything you are working on. She got distracted by other things and she forgot her responsibilities.
People forget their responsibilities and that is why you have to be accountable for your partner.
She also has to remind you of where you are from and where you are going.
The support you give each other and accountability matters a lot in a relationship.
When you are unmotivated because you have forgotten what you are supposed to achieve, she has to remind you.
Your girlfriend stopped putting effort into the relationship because the goals are unclear to her.
She doesn’t know what she is supposed to do or where she is supposed to be with a few years from now.
You need to remind her what you promised each other and what you are working on in that relationship.
Talk of the things you want to do together and what it will take the two of you to be where you want to be.
Remind her to play her part in that relationship and put the effort into the right place.
Let her know that you have realized she is not doing the things she used to and tell her what is at stake.
Such a conversation with her will remind her that she has to take her time to work on the relationship and bring it back to where it was if you wants to achieve anything great.
7. Give her some space to figure out what she wants.
If you have tried everything I have shared with you in this article, but nothing changes, this is what you should do.
You have to give her some space to figure things out.
Right now she stopped putting effort into the relationship but you are still trying to work on it, doesn’t make things clear to her.
She still gets your attention and your company.
Nothing changed for her because you are still the same guy who is in love with her and you are doing everything you can to please her.
You have to stop putting effort too and give her some space to figure out what she wants.
The moment she starts missing the things you used to give to her it will click in her head that she needs to be serious about you.
If she is still in love with you within 3 to 5 days she will reach out begging you to work things out.
On the other side, if she stopped putting effort into the relationship simply because she was dealing with some issues, the space would help her work them out.
When she is okay and ready to work on the relationship she will reach out to you.
So, give her some space and see what will happen.
8. If she doesn’t want to fix the relationship let go of her.
If you have given her space for about 3 weeks but she doesn’t bother to get back to you, just know that you lost her.
She is no longer interested in you and it can be that she wasn’t putting effort into the relationship because she had someone else.
You were the guy she was stringing along the whole time. She gave her attention and energy to the guy she was into.
She used you for your time, attention, and money.
You need to accept the fact that she got over you and you also have to do the same.
You have to let her go because you can’t be the only one working on a relationship.
Let her go and find someone else who will be willing to commit to you.
Lastly…
When your girlfriend doesn’t put effort into the relationship the first thing you should do is find out why she stopped.
If there is any issue between the two of you then start working out on it.
Let your girlfriend know that she doesn’t put effort into the relationship and you would like her to start trying.
Ask her to put more effort into the relationship for it to survive.
But if she just stopped putting effort and she doesn’t want to work on the relationship, you should let her go.
She stopped putting effort into the relationship because she no longer wanted to.
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