If your boyfriend helped you financially and now he wants you to pay him back, the first thing you should do is to try to understand him. You need to understand why he wants you to pay him back before you assume, say, or do something that is going to make this harder for both of you.
I know you expected that your boyfriend would never ask you to pay him back because you are in a relationship.
What you know is that couples don’t owe each other after they have helped each other financially.
You have so many questions about how he feels and perceives you.
Why is he asking you to pay him back? Is he no longer in love with you?
Can’t he just spend money on you without expecting you to pay him back?
Read also; 7 Reasons Why Boyfriend Doesn’t Spend Money On You
This is something tricky and I know it develops so many feelings about how your boyfriend perceives you.
Maybe he doesn’t want to spend his money on you! Or he just wants you to be responsible and rely on yourself.
When he gives you money because you want to cover your bills he expects you to pay him back.
Read also; 5 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Gives You Money
This is what to do when your boyfriend wants you to pay him back;
1. Find out why he wants you to pay him back.
Your boyfriend wants you to pay him back! This is something rare to happen but it does happen when things aren’t the way they are supposed to be.
If he wants you to pay him back the money he lent you when you wanted to clear your bills or pay your rent, you will have no choice but to pay him back.
Read also; Should I Ask My Boyfriend To Pay My Rent?(+When U Should)
But before you decide to pay him back, you need to understand why he needs you to pay him back.
The truth is that something like this is likely to happen again.
If your boyfriend has never asked you to pay him back after he has helped something is going on and that is why he wants you to refund him.
He wants you to pay him back because he needs the cash and you are the only person he thought you would help him out.
You need to ask him why he wants you to pay him back before you go on with what he is asking of you.
If he wants you to pay him back because he is cornered with financial responsibilities or an emergency has just struck his family, you will have to help him out too if you can.
And not just paying him back. Be shoulder to shoulder with him and try to find a way to solve the financial problems that your boyfriend is undergoing right now.
He wants you to pay him back not because he has a choice. The situation he is in right now is what makes him ask you to pay him back.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend wants you to pay him back it mainly depends on your agreements and how you handle each other when it comes to money matters.
If you have always paid your boyfriend back whenever he helps you financially even without him asking you to, this gave him the impression that you would always pay him back whenever he lends you money to cover your bills.
Now he is broke and he has no means to get the cash to use for his needs and pay his bills, he asks you to pay him back because you have always been doing it.
Also, if you have an agreement with your boyfriend that you will always pay him back after he has given you money, you don’t need to ask yourself so many questions about why he wants you to pay him back.
He wants you to pay him back because that is what you agreed to when he started giving you money.
When you know why your boyfriend wants you to pay him back that is when you will have the right perspective about why he wants things to be that way.
You will also be able to understand what you should expect when your boyfriend gives you money next time.
2. If he is in a tough situation pay him back.
If your boyfriend wants you to pay him back because he is stranded, you will need to pay him back.
It doesn’t matter whether you agreed to pay him back or not. He just wants you to pay him back the money he spent on you because he wants to pay his bills.
I am sure if he had money in his account he wouldn’t have asked you to do so.
You owe him right now because he is in a tough situation and he doesn’t have a means to get the money he needs.
For instance, if your boyfriend is in a tough situation and he needs more money to help out his family, you should not only pay him back the money he gave you but help him out.
You should show that you care about him and you understand why he wants you to pay him back.
But when he tells you that he wants you to pay him back because he wants to clear a hospital bill for his mom and you just give him the cash and let him deal with it on his own, this will develop negative feelings between the two of you.
He will realize you don’t care about his problems and this might affect your relationship in the long run.
Maybe something like this has never happened before since you started dating.
You are surprised. How will my boyfriend ask me to pay him back?
Are relationships supposed to work like this?
If your boyfriend wants you to pay him back yet there is nothing serious he wants to handle but he just wants you to give him the money, this is a red flag.
This is not a guy you should rely on at all. He is not the kind of guy who will support you financially just because he loves and cares about you.
Every penny he will spend on you will be documented and at one point he will ask you to pay him back.
That is not how relationships should work. Couples should not owe each other after they have spent money on one another.
Unless you had an agreement that that is how you would handle things when you started dating.
In this case, you will have to pay him back without asking him so many questions because you both agreed to that.
3. Don’t take it negatively when he asks you to pay him back.
You love your boyfriend but the fact that he wants you to pay him back when he spends money on you is what is sickening you.
It doesn’t matter why he wants you to pay him back, this will always develop a negative feeling when it comes to the two of you.
You will always feel that you have to be accountable when you are around each other.
This makes you feel that you can’t depend on your boyfriend for anything because at one point he will want you to pay him back.
It won’t make you comfortable because this will cut across almost everything you do together.
If you go out, you need to pay for what you need and he has to do the same.
You won’t feel comfortable especially if you are struggling financially.
Your friends are taken care of by their boyfriends and they don’t have to pay anything back.
With your boyfriend, it’s a different case.
The way you will handle this is what will determine if the relationship will keep going or end.
If you don’t find it a big deal to pay your boyfriend back the money he gives you then the relationship will keep thriving.
Until you fail to pay him back because you are broke or you got fired.
Don’t develop negative feelings towards your boyfriend simply because he has asked you to pay him back.
I know this is something that bothers you and that is why you are reading this article.
As a rule of thumb in any relationship, couples should support each other without owing each other.
If this can’t settle with you, you will have no choice but to do what I am about to share with you in the next section of this article.
4. Be honest with him about how you feel about this.
Your boyfriend wants you to pay him back, how do you feel about this? Are you comfortable with what your boyfriend expects from this relationship?
If you are not happy with how your boyfriend handles money issues in that relationship you should talk to him about it.
Let him know that you are not happy with how he handles money issues.
After telling him how you feel about it, let him know how you expect things to be in that relationship.
Talking to your boyfriend about this issue will let him know where your mind is after he tells you to pay him back.
The response he will give you is what will let you know what you should expect from this relationship.
If he expects you to owe each other after you have helped one another he will tell you the truth.
It will be up to you to decide if you want to date this kind of guy or find yourself another man who will spend money on you without expecting you to pay him back.
But before you conclude that, you need to understand your boyfriend’s situation.
It can be that he is struggling financially and that is why he wants you to pay him back.
He has no choice. It’s not like he likes doing what he does.
Lastly…
If your boyfriend wants you to pay him back since you agreed that is how things will be, you will have no choice but to do it.
But if he wants you to pay him back because he is in a tough situation you will have to help him out.
Let him know that you understand he is in a tough situation and that is why he wants you to pay him back.
This will eliminate the awkwardness between the two of you after you have given him the money he wanted you to pay him back and added more to help him deal with his financial issue.
If you are not happy with what your boyfriend expects after he has spent money on you, be honest with him.
Let him know the truth about what you feel when he asks you to pay him back.
You will have no choice but to end the relationship if you aren’t happy with the conditions your boyfriend is putting on you.
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