If your boyfriend is controlled by his family you need to do something to unhook him from them. This will affect your boyfriend and your relationship too if you won’t do anything about it.
The moment your boyfriend’s family controls your man and they don’t like you at all they might end up ruining your relationship.
Read also; 12 Signs Your Boyfriend’s Family Doesn’t Like You (+To Do)
They can incite your boyfriend to end the relationship with you and he won’t be able to oppose them.
Your relationship is going to be hard with him just because of his family.
Your man needs to be accountable for his life and responsible for you. This won’t happen if his family controls every aspect of his life.
So, should just tell his family to stop controlling him?
This is what to do when your boyfriend is controlled by his family;
1. Find out why his family controls him.
The first thing you should do when you realize that your boyfriend is controlled by his family is to find out why.
You need to know why his family controls him for you to truly understand what’s going on.
Don’t just start jumping to conclusions and even do something that is going to upset your boyfriend’s family.
Maybe you think that his family controls him but it’s the way they handle each other.
You may think that he is exploited by his family but it’s an agreement they had.
So, don’t just say or do anything if you don’t have an idea why it’s happening.
When you know why his family controls him it might also give you an idea of how to help him out.
How can I find out why his family is controlling him?
The first thing you can do to find out why his family is controlling him is to talk to him.
You need to sit down with your boyfriend and ask him how feels when it comes to how his family handles him.
If his family truly controls him and he hates what they do to him, your boyfriend will tell you the truth about this.
But if he thinks that his family doesn’t control him and it’s only that they are in a situation that requires him to find a solution he will open up about it.
For instance, if his family controls him by asking him to give them all the money he has you will know about it.
If his family controls him when it comes to decision-making to the extent that nothing he does in his life is of his accord, he will also tell you about it.
The moment your boyfriend is not happy with how his family handles him he will open up to you about it.
Through the response from him, you will be able to know why his family controls him.
2. Talk to your boyfriend about the threat of his family to your relationship.
Before you do anything when you have found out why his family controls him, you need to talk to him about the negative effects of what they do to him.
Maybe he doesn’t think his family is doing anything wrong and that is why he doesn’t bother doing anything about it.
He lets his family do anything to him and commands him to do things simply because he has the impression that his family won’t do anything wrong to him.
Yet his family controls every aspect of his life.
He doesn’t see that his family is ruining his life and the relationship since he is blinded by his love for them.
The only person who will wake him up is you.
Talking about this issue with him will help him realize that his family is hurting him.
He will open his eyes and realize that his family is ruining his relationship.
Let him know that it will be hard for him to stand up for himself if he lets his family control him.
The relationship might also end up failing if they have the intention of inciting him to end it especially if they don’t like you.
If he is exploited by his family and all the cash goes to them there is no way he will build his life and support you financially too.
Don’t forget to talk about how they will perceive him if he lets them walk all over him.
His respect won’t hold and they will always look down upon him. His voice won’t be heard if there’s an issue.
3. Take your boyfriend away from the grip of his family.
You have talked to your boyfriend about the effects of what his family is doing to him.
It’s time now to think of viable a solution to this issue.
You can’t let your boyfriend live in this condition knowing that his family might ruin your relationship.
Before you start dealing with this issue you need to first understand which aspect is his family controlling him.
If they control him on the part of making decisions you should share with him how he should go about unhooking himself from this problem.
Does his family not allow him to make solid options that affect how your relationship goes?
Maybe he wants to arrange your engagement ceremony but they take control of everything.
This affects how he thinks and makes decision-making fault.
If he is the guy who doesn’t have a say over what they want you can start sharing tips with your boyfriend on how he should handle them.
You need to know how his family controls him if you are to try to fix the situation.
Try everything you can to unhook him from his family’s trap.
As long as he knows that his family is a danger to him and your relationship he will be ready to find out a way to walk out of their control.
But if he doesn’t think that his family is toxic there is no way you can help him out.
Read also; What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Family Is Toxic
He will just continue to accept the same treatment that his family offers him.
4. Encourage your boyfriend to take his stand against any manipulation.
Your boyfriend is mature and he understands what it takes to be a man.
If his family is toxic he has to take the lead when it comes to dealing with them.
To be honest, you can’t fight his family toxicity by yourself. Your boyfriend has to contribute towards the change of his family or find a way to unhook himself from their control.
You need to encourage your boyfriend to always stand up for what is right and fight for it.
If he isn’t strong enough to stand up for what his family is doing to him there’s no way he will stop them from controlling him.
He has the power to stop his family from exploiting him. It’s up to him to confront them and tell them what he thinks about what they are doing.
If he is a coward not to do anything about what his family is doing to him there’s no way he will manage to save himself.
Even if you decide to talk to his family about what they are doing, you take the lead to help him walk away from all this but if he doesn’t do anything about it, nothing will change.
When you stop putting effort into helping him out with his family, he will end up in their control again.
Encourage your boyfriend to fight their manipulations. Let him know that he deserves better.
5. Advise your boyfriend to distance himself from his family.
If you have tried everything and nothing seems to be working out, this is what you will have to do at last.
You will need to distance yourselves from his family.
If you still live around his family you will have to find a way to find an apartment far from them.
Maybe your boyfriend is still dependent on his parents and that’s is why he still living around them.
Read also; My Boyfriend Is Dependent On His Parents: Do This
With this condition, his family gets a chance to control him in whatever way they like since they know your boyfriend won’t do anything about it.
If this is the case your boyfriend will have to wake up and start to hustle hard and find a way out of his parent’s house.
This is the only way he will manage to walk away from the grip of his family’s control.
Encourage your boyfriend to find a job or a side hustle that will help him make more money to start his life somewhere else.
Trust me, it won’t be easier. You will need to be the biggest support he has in his life.
You will have to keep pushing and reminding him what you are all fighting for.
He will understand that his freedom will come from the effort he will put in to change his life.
When he manages to be far away from his family and live his life without being dependent on his family, he will do what he feels like.
There’s no way his family will come between the two of you because you will be far away from them.
Since your boyfriend knows their nature, he won’t do anything that will force you to be close to his family.
This is what to do if your boyfriend is controlled by his family.
Lastly…
If your boyfriend is controlled by his family you have to try your best to get him out of that situation.
Don’t think that it won’t affect your relationship either. If you want your relationship to have it easier you have no choice but to help him out.
Whether you like it or not, your boyfriend will always be affected by anything negative coming from his family.
The control his family has against him will wreck your boyfriend and the relationship into pieces unless you do something about it.
Encourage your boyfriend to stand up to his family and fight for what is right.
Support him through this fight and help him realize that he deserves more.
This is the only way you will manage to take your boyfriend from the grip of his family.
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to fight his family toxicity and you know for sure that what is happening also affects you, you will have no choice but to end the relationship.
The more you be with him the harder it will be for you to take care of yourself.
You will be busy fighting a fight and helping someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
This is enough to wreck your relationship into pieces. And if your boyfriend doesn’t want to do anything about the control of his family he might just hurt you from their incite.
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